The concept that technology and social media is making us anti-social isn’t a new one. Just Google it and see. There is no denying that social media is opening up the doors for communication and providing us with opportunities that may otherwise have been impossible. It certainly has for me. However, I’d hazard a guess that many of us aren’t taking those relationships and/or opportunities offline in order to seize their full potential.
While I have benefited immensely from social media, it some ways, it’s also hindering my business when it comes to my communication skills. Though many are surprised to hear this, I can be a pretty shy person in real life. Until I get to know someone, I’m often the quietest person in a room. This isn’t because I’m guarded or intentionally anti-social, plain and simple, I’m just shy. Nothing wrong with that. However, if technology is allowing you to avoid dealing with that shyness/self-confidence/whatever, I do believe you’ll begin to see the effects trickle over into your business where a lack of confidence isn’t invited to the table.
Think about it. It’s far easier to exude confidence in an email or online situation. We have all the time in the world to script a typed communication that’s laced with conviction and self-confidence. Yet, ask yourself this… could you do that via the phone or face-to-face? If your answer is no, you may want to assess how your reliance on online communications is effecting your business today and potentially in the future.
Often when my cell rings, I’ll let it go to voice-mail and later respond via email. Rather than set up an face-to-face meeting with someone, I’ll drive all communications through online venues. When talking in person with someone about my business, a quick exchange of URLs/email addresses will occur. While all of these scenarios are certainly convenient, I do believe this convenience can manifest into a problem overtime. If we are constantly by-passing face-to-face interactions in favor of online interactions, is it safe to say that for many our communication skills in person will begin to deteriorate?
Case in point (and this is one of many I could share), James and I were in a very high-end store here in Toronto a little while ago. Amongst other things, this store offers stationery – primarily for weddings – but also other paper goods. While I chose to walk around the store as inconspicuous as possible, James being a very outgoing person, walked up to a chap sat at a desk and plain out asked for the buyer. Turns out, he was the buyer and I was suddenly forced to communicate face-to-face about my business.
Did I have the same confidence/conviction as I would have via email? No. I didn’t have the time to “script” the perfect pitch and so I fumbled my way through the conversation. Sure, I walked away with his business card, but did I do my business justice? No. While that awkward interaction may be forgotten when I approach him for a possible wholesale opportunity, if I overlook the fact that I’m relying too much on online interactions and my communication skills in person are deteriorating as a result, I will continually fumble my way through face-to-face interactions and eventually it will be remembered.
Therein potentially lies the problem. The strategies and confidence we play out and display online need to extend offline too. The time we invest in building our “online presence” and relationships needs to be invested in our offline communications/personalities also. Both are equally important and combined can significantly drive the growth of your business. While you can certainly play in the online world with great success, if you can’t play face-to-face with the same confidence, the only person you’ll exclude is yourself and ultimately your business.
So, my question to you is this… while you may be navigating the world of social media with confidence and conviction are you doing so face-to-face as well? Or are you relying too much on online communications and becoming a technology recluse?
Photo Credit: aftab
I definitely find it easier to express myself when not face-to-face as well. While I don’t describe myself as shy, I’m definitely reserved. Social media has allowed me to reach people I would not have approached had I seen them in person.
So in answer to my own question: in-person and on-line *are* different.
Great thought-provoking post, Adele!
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I agree with you 100%. Before I retired I know for a fact that I used e-mail to avoid having to deal with people either over the phone or in person. E-mail allowed me to deal with a situation without having to involve myself with the emotions inherent in a confrontaiton. Like you I would return voice-mails with e-mails whenever possible. I’m not sure that it undermined my ability to chair a meeting or deal with a situation face to face however e-mail was my preferred option.
On the other hand social media etc. do have many benefits. In my case I am able to communitacte more frequently with friends in Australia by a simple chat on Facebook. I’m sure you do the same with British friends and family.
The social media should not be discarded out of hand, but one must be aware if one is making them into a crutch or if they are exacerbating reclusive tendencies.
I see completely where you’re coming from. Some days it is so difficult to step out of this online comfort zone, but usually when I do it is never half as bad as my mind plays it out to be. I’m a loud and outgoing guy too and I can see some of the effects. I think we all just need to practice in social situations more. Just last week we planned a speed networking session in our city. It was a thought experiment but your post just made me realize that we are all going to get great practice speaking with other business professionals.
Like with everything else practice makes perfect and I think speaking to people is one of these! Thanks again for reminding all of us how the online world effects us.
Cheers,
Jeph
Great post,
I think most people fall under this to some degree.
I think it’s really opened it up as well though for people who are shy, when you can get to know someone on Twitter, etc, beforehand, then you know them. The fear of having nothing to talk about or not knowing somebody at an event is diminished greatly.
Even me, who is an obnoxious extrovert, loves this part.
I know what you mean! As someone in my daily life who is very shy (I always used to say I was just quiet but since having my son I realise yes, it is shyness) in business I try not to be. Email and the internet has made it possible for someone like me to have a business. If I had to rely on meeting people face to face I would never have started. The problem comes when like you said you want to grow your business and need to also interact face to face. I’m working on it especially as I see my son also becoming a quiet person in public and new situations. I was thinking of starting a local business meet up, but I’m too scared lol