Wow, it’s Friday already? This week has flown by. It’s been an amazing few days over here and lots of opportunities have come up that I’ll share with you over time. I hope your week was equally good to you. I’m loving March so far. How about you?

As the weekend is upon us I wanted to wish you all a fabulous weekend. We’re having Spring-like weather over here. Yah! It’s so nice to be able to open up the windows and have some fresh air blowing through.

My weekend is gearing up to be awesome. On deck I have a client meeting later tonight followed by date night with James, then tomorrow we’re having dinner/drinks with James’ work crew and then Sunday my boys arrive. Bliss!

What you got planned for the weekend?

Photo Credit: The Clockwork Universe – Check out their fab new Etsy shop full of amazing vintage clocks!

There appears to be this collective relief out there as we say goodbye to February 2010. For a short month, it seemed so long didn’t it?

Despite it’s up and downs, February taught me a lot. I don’t know about you, but whenever things aren’t going so great, I always need to find a positive in there in order for me to move forward.

Now that March is upon us it’s time to start setting up my goals for this month. If I were to look at what was achieved in February in terms of tangible goals, I could easily feel as though I failed. Yet I now realize I didn’t.

February may of driven me to some personal lows but it also forced me to take an honest and hard look at what the hell was going on. As a result, I came out stronger and happier than ever. That my friends was the best thing I could ever of done for my company.

So as I set up my goals to grow modernemotive this month, I’m going to make sure I nurture myself too. Sure, I want my company to be running at it’s best but I need to make sure I am too so that we bloom together.

Hello March. I’m ready for you!

Are you ready? What are your goals this month?

Photo Credit: StevenBrisson

I used to hate Sundays. Mainly because it meant I was either due at school or the office the next day. I’m sure you all know that feeling.

Today, on the last Sunday of the month, I only feel anticipation and excitement for tomorrow. As I say hello to March and the promise of Spring, I feel a certain inner peace knowing I’m about to close the door on the stress that was February.

So, as I lay here in bed with my coffee, I wish you all a wonderful Sunday. My Sunday will include pancakes, the typical household chores, some R’n’R to later be topped off with a movie (The Time Traveler’s Wife). Bliss!

What does (did) your Sunday entail?

UPDATE: So my Sunday didn’t go as planned above. The pancakes were replaced by brunch out and the chores, R’n'R and movie were replaced by staying out to watch the hockey game. The atmosphere was too addictive to leave. I had an awesome Sunday! HELLO MARCH!

Photo Credit: Rootedinstyle

I don’t usually write my blog posts at 5 am in the morning, but seeing as I’ve been up for an hour already, here I am armed with coffee starting my day. Morning folks!

For the past few days I’ve developed this internal clock that screams “Wake up Adele!” around 4.30 am. Someone please tell it to shut up because I really need some sleep. Though usually a morning person, being up this early is pushing it a little too far.

What about you… are you a night owl or a morning person?

Photo Credit: Thom Woolley

I’m sure it’s evident from my posts lately that I’m going through a bit of an identity crisis with my company and perhaps if I’m honest, with myself too. Previously I’ve attributed this to the usual culprits such as confidence, life’s ups and downs, lack of motivation… we’ve all been there and some of that holds true. However, after sharing this post, once again, Jan of Daisy Janie threw some words of wisdom at me that made me dig a little deeper:

“You said you’ll just rip the carpet up to reveal the concrete…the foundation of your home, your life. Well, why can’t you do the same with modernemotive? Rip the surface layer off and get to the foundation. What’s down there? What do you see? How can you make it functional? What will it take to build on it?”

It took a while for the “light bulb” to turn on, but when it did it hit me like a ton of bricks. I’m not struggling because my vision isn’t there, nor my passion or drive. I’m struggling because I’m standing on top of a foundation that was rushed and not given time to set. A foundation I’m not confident can withstand the load if I keep building. There are too many cracks that need filling with long-term solutions and goals, not just temporary fixes. Some of that foundation is me and hey, I need a little repair too.

You might think I’m over-analyzing this, but recently I was presented with a few opportunities that would of taken my attention away from modernemotive indefinitely. The fact that I seriously considered them reinforced my belief that the foundation of my company needed some work. They both fell through within 24 hours of each other and the relief I felt made me realize modernemotive is still my home and I’m not ready to up and leave.

So, if I’m going to stay in these digs, it’s time to do some foundation work. Going forward, I need to be able to build on top of what I have with confidence and strength, so it’s time to rediscover and redefine things. Once my foundation is set, I’ll start to brick this goddamn house. After-all, Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Photo Credit: mauresque

My age as of today. Here’s to being another year older and another year wiser (?).

Photo Credit: StgoDöllPosse

So, I totally dropped the ball on Project 365 this month. As you can imagine, I was mad at myself and went through all the feelings of failure and embarrassment. Scrambling to remedy the matter resulted in an idea to take a bunch of photos for the missing days so I would be back on track but that only fueled the self-imposed stress about it. Pretty silly huh?

Anyway, I woke up this morning and thought “fuck it”. Who cares if I missed a few days? Do you? I’m going to guess no. The only person that cares is me and only because I choose to. Well, not anymore. I’m going to look at those photo-less days as a representation of where I was at the time – kinda lost, confused and disoriented. My personal intention of Project 365 is to capture my life on that particular day, so those blank spaces represent those days better than any photo could.

I guess in some ways, this post really isn’t about Project 365, but more about learning to give myself a break. Sometimes we are so goddamn hard on ourselves and at the end of the day it is completely unwarranted. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… sometimes, when you look hard enough, you’ll actually see perfection in your imperfections and that can be a beautiful thing. Embrace it, don’t let it put you at a stand-still and just keep moving.

You know, I think I jinxed myself bitching about February because she’s dealing more crap to me. The latest happenings over here is a bedroom carpet* ripped up along with some baseboards courtesy of Riley. Yah, the cute boy down below. Looks like butter wouldn’t melt huh?

Seems he got himself locked in there while we was out yesterday and was determined to eat his way through the wall. WTF? He ain’t a puppy, don’t only puppies do stuff like this? Of course, I can’t be angry at him, he’s cute and shit happens, but still, February, seriously, can you not reserve some of your challenges for March, April, May… ?

Anyway, rather than bitch some more, I wanted to talk about drive. You know the motivational kind. For me, it’s been slightly lacking this month. Even though we’re only 8 days in, I’ve done eff all in terms of what I had planned. Let’s just say my motivation and optimism has taken a trip elsewhere. I’ve even looked at my business as a whole and debated throwing in the towel. Yah, it’s gotten that bad at times.

But see there’s a problem. I have this drive I can’t ignore. I didn’t quit my job, invest money and talk the talk to later walk away due to a few bumps in the road. Yah, I might be driving under the speed limit right now, but let’s face it, all I need to do is put my foot firmly down and step it up a notch.  And hey, if I need to pull of to the side to refuel that’s okay too. That final destination isn’t going anywhere, it’ll still be there whether I arrive tomorrow, next month or even next year.

I’m curious, what drives you to keep going? These roads we are taking, whether personal or professional are rarely smooth, so what gives you the drive to keep at it?

* After 30 minutes of thinking my place is a shambles, I saw the bright side of things. I’ve always hated that carpet. Besides latching on to every bit of dirt that comes its way, I just hate carpet period. So, screw it, I’m ripping it up and exposing the concrete. I already have exposed concrete in my condo so I think it’ll work. I’ll keep you posted.

Photo Credit (bottom): Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL)

38/365: My boys arrived today*. After a rough week, I couldn’t wait to get myself a dose of cuddles and kisses. Once the love fest was over, Bosco secured his place on the chair next to James. The very expensive, {gasp} white {gasp} chair**.

* My ex and I share them. We’re lucky to have a good relationship still so it works for us.
** I’ve given up trying to keep these chairs clean. I’ve no clue what I was thinking buying them in white as most of the fabric covered parts are non-removable. Once I get more confident with my sewing machine (read: when my mam arrives in the summer – she’s an amazing seamstress – and can help me) I’ll be churning out some slip covers so I don’t have a shed a silent tear every time I look at them.

37/365: I finally won the mental battle with my sewing machine today. It’s been a few years since I’ve sewn anything so I was a little nervous. But, I put all that aside and just went for it. The result? Two fab pillow cases for my living area. Photos coming soon!

36/365: I was all set to do some sewing today but procrastination and indecision took over. Oh, and the fact I’m afraid to cut my material. Someone pass me some sewing cahonos please.

35/365: I had naturally wavy hair as a kid which straightened out as I got older. Yet, every once in a while my hair will just naturally curl. Today was one of those days which I welcome as it means no styling whatsoever. I like that.

34/365: In a scramble to take my photo late at night, all I got is random bathroom accessories. ;)

33/365: In an attempt to take a break from the computer today I pulled out my sketchpads and Prismacolor pencils. It was just one of those days where the creative juices had run dry and I was more productive making pencil shavings than I was sketching.

32/365: I had an appointment downtown today. I typically walk everywhere so couldn’t resist an opportunity to snap some shots on the TTC. I’m really happy with how this shot came out. I had no idea what would be captured as the camera was sat on my knee. Not bad eh?

You know, it’s funny, when I used to work in an office, the distinction between the work week and the weekend was clearly defined. That TGIF (though more likely TFIF) feeling was always buzzing through me. Truth be told, in terms of social activity, I took part in it regardless of the day and I’ve gone into work hungover more times than I care to admit, so plans on the weekend were not necessarily the source of my weekend anticipation. There is something so comforting in knowing that the weekend is just around the corner. Whether your weekend was jam-packed with commitments or destined to be enjoyed in your PJs at home, it was the weekend and that’s all that mattered.

When I started to work for myself, that distinction became very fuzzy if not invisible. Not a weekend went by (other than one camping trip weekend) that I didn’t work in some capacity. In essence, I pretty much worked every day for a full year, for 365 days straight!

Of course, sometimes it was necessary and that’s a pill you simply have to swallow when working for yourself. However, there’s a difference between working out of pure necessity (i.e. to get on top of orders, a great idea you just want to work on) verses working out of self-imposed, unrealistic expectations. Seriously, would a potential customer feel any less of me if I didn’t answer a question at 11pm on a Saturday night? Heck, on any day even? Would a customer feel any less of me if the item they bought on Friday night shipped Monday morning rather than Sunday? My guess is no, they wouldn’t.

It’s not unusual for a bricks and mortar store to have 1 or 2 days of closure per week, so why do we put this pressure on ourselves to be available 24/7? Obviously, much of that pressure comes from the fact our primary presence is online. That alone brings expectations of instant results and constant accessibility. However, there’s a fine line and it’s up to you to keep in visible at all times.

I let it disappear in the beginning and I succumbed to the pressure only to later burn myself out. So, I’m drawing myself a new line. In a big fat marker. I’m taking back my weekends. My business will still be there on Monday, as will the customers, and more importantly, so will I, refreshed and raring to go thanks to two precious days off.

Who owns your weekend? You or your business?

Happy Weekend All!

Photo Credit: *Zara